


In Pieces

by CindyRyan



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23151544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CindyRyan/pseuds/CindyRyan
Summary: Dark version of my fic Falling Apart.  AU. Lucy deals with the fallout of Caleb raping her and being buried alive. Can Tim help her through it and deal with his own guilt?
Relationships: Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Comments: 10
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
spoilers: all

The sun's warmth and fresh air.  
Two things Lucy Chen thought she'd never experience again. She'd been buried alive after being drugged on a date. She'd been fooled by a man that had turned out to have ties to a notorious female serial killer.

Minutes after being in her T.O's Tim Bradford's arms Lucy found herself in an ambulance. Memories of her captivity were coming back as Lucy orientated herself. The crowded ambulance held two paramedics an older man with a bald head and a young red haired female. On the right sitting on the bench were Tim and Lucy's C.O Sgt Wade Grey. Both men looked dirty and tired testament to the search they'd endured to find her.

“Ma'am.”The male paramedic was saying. “Can you tell me your injuries?”

Lucy began to list what she knew of her cuts and bruises and possibly a twisted left ankle and a few bruised ribs. Lucy swallowed hard as a particular memory surfaced. One so violent that she didn't want to put words to it, but she knew she had too. Forming the words was one of the bravest things Lucy had ever done. She cleared her throat and spoke focusing on the paramedic and not the two men to her right. Angry tears tracked down Lucy's face.

“I was raped.”Lucy stated quietly.

Despite her best efforts her voice broke. Lucy turned her head away from the medics staring at the ambulance wall to the right of the female medic. She heard curses from Tim and a muttered one from Grey. The ambulance continued it's trek through the streets it's siren being the only sound for several minutes. Lucy finally gave into the exhaustion and closed her eyes. She was asleep before they reached the hospital.  
******  
When they reached the hospital Lucy was whisked inside. Tim and Grey followed but Tim retreated outside after a few minutes. His emotions and thoughts were spinning. Bile was in his throat threatening to release what little he'd eaten that day. Tim stalked the sidewalk outside the ER entrance his fists clenched at his side. Lucy's quiet statement echoing through his tortured troubled thoughts.

_'I was raped.'_

Anger swept through Tim like he'd never known. Part of it at himself the rest at Wright and Rosalyn. Tim had completely failed Lucy; his partner. She may be his rookie on paper, but Lucy had long since stopped being that. The quarantine had changed them along with Tim trying to save his marriage; dealing with Isabel's addiction and the dark world she'd fallen into. Lucy had helped him through that though she probably didn't realize how much.

_'You need to have a drink; particularly with another human.'_

Tim still didn't know how Wright had played him. He'd fooled everyone. Everyone but Lucy. She'd hesitated about calling Caleb back. Then that long bad shift occurred and she'd received the worst advice from her T.O Lucy had not only been buried alive but she'd suffered the worst attack a woman could face. Worse, the son of a bitch was dead and Tim couldn't kill him. Couldn't give Lucy justice.

Tim sank down onto the curb of the sidewalk next to one of the ambulances. As he put his head in his hands and rested his hands on his knees he heard his name being called. It was only then that he recognized it as Grey. He heard footsteps as the older man stopped and crouched next to him placing a comforting hand on Tim's left shoulder. Tim hadn't told him that he was the reason Lucy had been taken. He'd only been able to confess that shame to Angela. Now, Tim had no choice.

“Tim....”Grey began quietly.

“This is on me.”Tim replied hoarsely. “Every bit of pain she's endured and will endure is on me.”

“What are you talking about?”Grey asked.

“She wanted to go home and sleep.”Tim explained hauntingly. “I told her that was a bad idea. She needed to be around people; get a drink. Focus on something else.”

“Wright fooled a lot of people.”Grey soothed.

“I should've seen it; seen what he was.”Tim thundered as he shot to his feet. “I let her down.”

Turning on his heel Tim stormed away.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Tim ended up getting a ride back to the crime scene from one of the sheriff deputies. Fortunately Angela was still there and they both carpooled with Nolan and Harper back to the station. It was early evening by then. Grey ordered everyone home. After showering, changing clothes Tim stood outside the locker room bag slung over his right shoulder.

“Hey,”Lopez greeted as she approached. “Wes and I are grabbing some dinner. Want to join us?”

Tim heard her, but it was like part of his mind was stuck back in that ambulance. Shock, he realized. He'd been prepared to find his partner dead. Not to hear she'd been violated, assaulted and buried alive. 

“Tim?”Angela asked closer now concern in her voice.

Years of military training and police work was the only way Tim snapped himself out of it. He glanced at his friend.

“Thanks, but I'm just going to head home and crash.”Tim responded wearily.

Angela pulled him to a nearby corner out of the way of foot traffic and earshot of others.

“You okay? You're shaking.”Angela asked softly.

“Adrenaline wearing off.”Tim replied which was partially true.

“You forget, I know you.”Angela pointed out with a raised eyebrow. “What's really going on?”

Tim sighed glanced around them and then stepped closer. He had to force the words past the sudden lump in his throat.

“Lucy was raped.”Tim explained each word harsh and clipped.

“Oh God.”Angela whispered as she leaned against the wall.

“Wright is damn lucky Harper shot him, because I sure as hell would've made him suffer a lot longer.”Tim spat as he turned and walked away.  
****  
Angela watched Tim leave her heart aching for her friend. She'd been afraid when Tim had been the one to administer CPR that Chen's loss would be doubly hard if she didn't make it. But Lucy had survived and her heart had beat again under Tim's hands. 

This new information added another element to an already ugly situation. Angela knew if anyone could overcome this it was Lucy Chen. She just had a very long road ahead to do so.

********

Grey had left Tim a message saying Lucy had been transferred to a hospital closer to her home and the station. It was just before the end of visiting hours when Tim arrived his plans for crashing at home changing as soon as he'd heard that message. Showing his badge had got him some leeway with the rules. 

Lucy was asleep when Tim entered the room. He stood for a moment after closing the door watching her. She looked small. The cuts were covered by bandages but the bruises stood out against her pale skin.   
She survived. Tim reminded himself.

That fact didn't ease the mountain of guilt on his shoulders. Tim quietly sat in the visitor's chair near the window. Angela had told him there was no way he could've known who Wright really was. That didn't balm the sting of hindsight. Lucy was his rookie, his responsibility. More than that she'd become his partner. He was supposed to protect her. She'd asked for his advice and that advice had put her in the worst kind of hell. Reaching forward Tim gently took Lucy's left hand in his. Even if Lucy hated him, Tim would find a way to make sure she got through this. He owed her that.


	3. Chapter 3

Tissue alert!!! You'll need some for this chapter. :)

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
Notes and summary: See part one

Lucy awoke the next morning to find every bit of her body aching. Her mind was slightly foggy which meant the doctors had administered pain meds. Lucy moved her left hand to find it caught on something. It was only when she turned her head to look that she saw her T.O asleep in the visitor's chair his left hand tight around hers.

Tears formed in Lucy's eyes and she tried to blink them back but failed. Everything was too much. She'd endured a kidnapping, rape, assault and being buried alive. Now her tough no nonsense T.O had clearly broken visitor's rules to stay with her after hours. Lucy's vision blurred and she sniffled. When her air had been running out in that barrel Lucy had prayed her friends would find her in time. She had known without a doubt that they were looking for her. Then to have the first face she saw to be Tim....after everything they'd been through Lucy hadn't wanted to hope that much. That out of everyone in the LAPD her partner would be the one to pull her out of the ground. Yet he had.

“Hey,”Tim said gently. “Don't cry, Lucy. You're safe; you're okay.”

Lucy didn't see him move through her waterfall of tears. Even after all this time he seldom called her Lucy. To hear his voice so gentle broke the last of her control. Lucy's emotions took over and she curled into a ball her head on the pillows. She'd misread Caleb and it had cost her dearly. What career prospect did she have now if she'd failed herself so badly?

*******  
Lucy's sobs killed him. Every one was like a punch; a slap. Tim had stood as soon as he'd seen she was crying. Now he hovered as she'd folded in on herself not sure what to do. Tim knew rape victims were sensitive to touch especially from a man. Still he couldn't not comfort her. Kneeling Tim moved so she could see him. He slowly reached out and pulled the blanket closer around her. Lucy's whole small frame was shaking.

“I'm here, boot.”Tim continued in the same gentle tone. “You're not alone. You're safe. I promise you he can't hurt you again.”

His partner's cries softened but they remained steady. Tim reached for Lucy's hand once more his movements tentative. He was heartened when she didn't flinch away from him.

“I'm sorry, Lucy.”Tim apologized his voice catching. “More than you'll ever know. I wish I could take that advice back;but I can't.”

Lucy's tear filled haunted gaze met his but Tim didn't look away. He gripped her small hand in his.

“You will get through this.”Tim promised softly. “If you don't want me there.....I-I'll understand. But if you do I'll be there for every step.”

*********  
Lucy stared at Tim in shock. Yes she'd asked for advice that day and he'd given it. Yet Lucy was an adult. It was her decision to pick up the phone and call Caleb. The expression on Tim's face now was one Lucy would never forget. The stoic emotionless mask that was so often there was gone. He was letting her see his guilt; his sadness. Lucy could also see the flash of trepidation and worry as his words echoed _'If you don't want me there....'_

“Yes,”Lucy began her voice hoarse and dry from the tears that she had to clear it. “Yes, I need you there.”

Not thinking about her actions and if she was honest she was too tired to care Lucy sat up. She slid from the bed and threw her arms around her partner. Later Lucy would swear she heard Tim whisper 'Boot' as he sat on the floor folding his arms around her. It was amazing to her how much she had hated that word in the early days. Now it was music.

********

As he wrapped his arms around his rookie Tim felt his own vision blur and he blinked to clear it. He'd been more afraid than he'd been willing to admit that Lucy would hate him. That she'd end the friendship and kick him out of her life for good.

_'I need you there.'_

“You'll be okay, Lucy.”Tim said softly his voice barely above a whisper. “You'll be okay.”


	4. Chapter 4

Don't forget the 2020 Rookie Fluff challenge! Can be found on my profile under collections.

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

A week later Lucy found herself somewhere she'd never thought she'd end up. She truly thought she'd be able to handle the fallout of her kidnapping with just the police psychologist. Then the nightmares had taken hold and Lucy found herself not only traumatizing herself but Jackson as well. It wasn't fair to her friend to bring him into the darkness. So she'd accepted her father's invitation and moved into his spare room. 

As much as Lucy had fought to forge her own path away from her parents' careers she was beyond grateful now that they were in the professions they were. Besides that she needed their love and to most of all feel safe. The week she'd spent in her own apartment Lucy had been jumping at shadows. She knew Caleb was dead and yet her heart had sped up at every unknown sudden noise. Especially at night. 

Once she was settled in her father's home Lucy could sense the change in him. She had heard from her mother how much her disappearance had frightened her father. Now Lucy was seeing it. He was much more attentive to her than he'd ever been. For the first twenty-four hours Lucy wouldn't say Patrick had hovered but he'd been very close to doing so. 

Now it was a Wednesday morning; half way through a second week with her father. On his advice she'd found a psychologist she'd felt comfortable with. She had twice a day meetings with Dr. Shaw. One in her office in the morning and one via video in the evening. Lucy had thought it extreme at first, but as the days passed she found it was helping. She was slowly working through what had happened to her. Lucy had thought her four week leave from work would be a hindrance, but she found that was helping too.

John and Jackson visited often. Lucy had been surprised that Nyla Harper had visited a few times as well. Angela and Wes had come by too. Her T.O had become a fixture in her father's home. That was another surprise in all of this that her father and Tim had gotten along. Her father even seemed to like him. Lucy wasn't sure if it was because Tim was the one that found her or the start of a genuine friendship. She'd take the peace that she could get. 

Tim stopped by every day. It'd been a bit awkward at first for Lucy after the intimacy of the hospital room when she'd broke down. That had passed quickly though Lucy still sensed Tim's guilt. The sadness in his eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. The weariness that didn't seem to leave him. Part of Lucy wished he didn't know about the rape. That she could've shielded him from that knowledge. The kidnapping itself was a large enough burden for anyone. With a sigh Lucy huddled deeper into the living room sofa pulling the blanket up around her.

****  
Wade Grey glanced up at the knock at his office door. It was just after eleven a.m and he'd been swamped since he'd walked in the door at seven. Tim Bradford stepped in and Wade took note of his friend's haggard appearance. Oh he was spit and polish as always but to those who knew him there were signs of wear and tear. Tim looked like he hadn't slept well in a few days.

“Have a minute?”Tim asked quietly.

“Sure.”Grey replied gesturing to the pair of visitor's chairs.

“Can we talk somewhere else?”Tim asked.

Wade studied Tim for a moment then nodded. He stood grabbing his wallet from the desk and putting it in his the right pocket of his slacks.

“I could use some caffeine.”Wade suggested. “Let's go.”

*******  
Ten minutes later Tim sat across from his C.O at a nearby coffee cafe. Having a friendship with Grey was a tricky balance. Wade was one of the few people Tim trusted complete. That being said Grey was still a Sgt. The other part of this was Tim was risking Lucy not liking him for this but it couldn't be helped. Tim had to talk to someone at least about some of it.

“How's Chen?”Grey prompted breaking the silence.

Tim sank back in the chair rubbing a hand over his face. That was the million dollar question. 

“Some days she seems better and others.....”Tim replied quietly trailing off and looking out the window.

“I know it's hard, but with what she's been through it's to be expected.”Grey commented grimly.

“I've talked with her father.”Tim continued his hands gripping the to-go cup of coffee. “He thinks she's improving.”

“But you're not convinced.”Grey surmised drinking some of his coffee.

“I don't know any more.”Tim confessed. “I want to believe Lucy is getting past this. But we both know what a long road trauma victims have. The bastard put her through hell and nearly killed her. She wasn't breathing when we pulled her out!”

“I know, but this is Lucy Chen we're talking about. She was smart and kept her head enough to drop that ring as a breadcrumb.”Wade pointed out.”It may take some time but I have faith that she'll weather this and be stronger for it.”

“I hope you're right.”Tim said solemnly. “I know I won't be able to forgive myself if she's not.”

Lucy was too important to him Tim thought bleakly. She had been before the kidnapping he just hadn't admitted it to himself. Now he had no idea how to define their relationship. There were far too many aspects to it. After a few minutes the men finished their coffee and went back to the station.


	5. Chapter 5

Alright folks turning up the angst. Lucy's about to go through the wringer

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Two days before she was due to return to work Lucy showed up at Grey's office. She had all her paper work in hand. From the psych evals to department evals to physical evals. Lucy knew Grey had every right to send her back home, but she hoped he wouldn't. She was going stir crazy and was anxious to get back to training. Lucy didn't want to fall too far behind John and Jackson.

“Come.”Grey replied at the knock on his door.

“Good morning.”Lucy greeted with a smile.

“Officer Chen, I wasn't expecting you.”Grey said as he stood and motioned her to a chair.

Lucy closed the door and sat down.

“I know I have two days of leave left, but I'd like to request an early return.”Lucy began handing him the folder containing the evals. “I've passed everything required by the department.”

“I see.”Grey replied quietly as he opened the folder and sifted through the papers. 

“I really do believe I'm ready to return to duty.”Lucy concluded.

“Let me review these evals and I'll get back to you.”Grey stated meeting Lucy's gaze. “I know you're anxious to come back but I don't want to risk any part of your recovery by putting you back out there too soon.””

“I understand.”Lucy acknowledged as she stood. 

“Give me an hour.”Grey instructed.

“Yes, Sir.”Lucy said as she left.

Lucy made her way to the break room feeling at loose ends. She was in civilian clothes and yet felt like she was wearing neon. It seemed like every officer she passed did a double take at her. Lucy had heard from Jackson that she'd become legend at the station. That had made her uncomfortable. All she'd done was survive.  
*****

Tim had just enough time to grab coffee from the break room before going back on patrol. He'd dropped a purse snatcher off and had just finished processing him. Tim was surprised to see Lucy seated at one of the small tables as he entered the break room. She was wearing a dark blue pencil skirt and a short sleeved matching shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a bun. To Tim she still looked too pale and tired even if it'd been three weeks. Lucy met his gaze and smiled briefly but it didn't reach her eyes.

“Hi.”Lucy greeted softly.

“Hi, what are you doing here?”Tim asked quietly as he reached her table. “Everything okay?”

“Going stir crazy.”Lucy explained. “Brought my paperwork to Grey to see if he'd let me back early.”

Forgetting the coffee Tim pulled a chair out and sat down. 

“Boot.”Tim began gently

He more than understood why she wanted to get back to normal. Tim just knew it was too soon. He just didn't know how to convince her of that.  
*******

“Don't give me that look.”Lucy grumbled

“Lucy....”Tim started.

Lucy cut him off as she stood.

“It's only two days, Tim!”Lucy said her voice rising. “Do you really think me sitting at my father's for two more days will make a difference?”

“I think you need more time than two days.”Tim said bluntly.

“Or maybe you don't know me as well as you think!”Lucy snapped. “I know I can handle being back.”

“Do you?”Tim countered as he stood. “You need your full focus out there, boot!”

Lucy's temper was flaring. Deep down she knew Tim was looking out for her as he always did, but right now it wasn't what she needed. 

“Apparently I've gotten legend status around here.”Lucy responded angrily as she stepped towards him. “I survived a serial killer. If I can handle Caleb I can handle patrol!”

“I don't want to lose you again!”Tim said his voice rising. 

“I think I've learned my lesson!”Lucy hissed as she spun towards the door.

Too fast Lucy realized too late as the room spun. She felt herself stumble. Lucy reached for the wall but didn't quite make it as her hand grabbed air.

“Boot?”Tim asked worriedly as he reached her in two strides.

Lucy tried to look at him but the floor rushed up to meet her instead and everything went black.  
******

Tim caught Lucy before she hit the floor. With his heart in his throat Tim gathered Lucy in his arms. He kicked two tables together and laid her on it. She was white as a sheet. Tim felt for a pulse and found a strong one and her breathing was good. Fainted, Tim realized with a relieved breath.

“Lucy?”Tim called as he lightly touched his right hand to her right cheek. “Lucy? Can you hear me?”  
*******

Lucy regained consciousness with a groan. She looked into Tim's worried gaze.

“I'm fine.”Lucy said as she sat up. “Just got dizzy.”

“You fainted, boot that's more than dizzy.”Tim argued not letting her sit up. “When did you eat last?”

“Breakfast.”Lucy snapped. “I just moved too fast; it happens.”

“Lucy.”Tim said gently.

Lucy broke his grasp and got off the table. She had to go to the bathroom and make herself presentable for Grey. Her stomach however took that moment to rebel. A fierce wave of nausea hit Lucy and she barely made it to the trash can before vomiting. Lucy could feel Tim's worry and concern as a physical force. She felt shaky as she gripped the sides of the trash can. 

“That's it, I'm calling a bus.”Tim stated as he grabbed his shoulder mike.

“Tim.”Lucy protested but her voice was weak even to her own ears.

Tim kept a steady grip on her right shoulder as he called Dispatch for an ambulance. Lucy managed to reach for a paper towel to clean her face before she sank to the floor. Her legs not able to support her any longer. She wanted to weep. Lucy just wanted her life to be what it was. She'd earned that hadn't she?


	6. Chapter 6

Title: In pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

At the ER Lucy couldn't stop herself from shaking. The doctor had just taken blood for a test. A test the paramedics had suggested but Lucy hadn't allowed herself to think about. After she was rescued Lucy had been given the 'morning after pill'. The doctor at that time had told her it was nearly a hundred percent effective. However, like everything there was always that slim chance it hadn't worked.

Tim was pacing the small area in the curtained section they were in. His fists were clenched at his sides and his face was almost as pale as hers. Lucy had never seen him like this. When the paramedics had suggested pregnancy Lucy had thought he was going to pass out. Tim had went so completely pale and then he'd whirled around and hit the wall of the ambulance with his right fist so hard he'd dented it.

After the blood was drawn Lucy had told the doctor of the rape. The red haired young woman had promised to put a rush on the test. Now Lucy's emotions were all over the place. The more she thought about her possible future the more color drained from her face. Lucy felt like she was going to pass out and told Tim so. He was instantly in front of her gripping her forearms gently. He eased her back on the exam bed. Lucy felt tears start and couldn't stop them. Her world was turning upside down once more.

“Tim.”Lucy whispered tearfully.

Lucy saw Tim try to school his features into the stoic mask he normally wore, but failed. She could still see anger and sadness that he couldn't quite hide. Or maybe she knew him too well.

“Sssh, boot.”Tim soothed. “Don't cry; we'll deal with whatever comes. You're not alone.”

_'We'll deal with....'_

Tim's words echoed and Lucy felt her heart squeeze. She reached out and took his right hand in hers and held it tightly. He squeezed it.

“They gave me the 'morning after pill.'”Lucy commented getting her tears under control and meeting Tim's gaze. “This can't be happening....I....”  
******

Tim wanted to hit something even though his hand was still hurting from the dent he'd put in the ambulance wall. Still the anger that surged was not being quelled. Lucy had already suffered enough. She was just starting to recover and to have this curve ball thrown in. Caleb got off lucky by getting taken out by Harper's bullet. Bastard.

If Lucy was pregnant he didn't know how he was going to help her through it. Tim would figure it out. He'd promised her she wasn't alone and he would be there for her. That wasn't guilt talking that was their partnership. The bond that had formed and strengthened. The tears that streaked Lucy's pale face now just ate at him. He reached up with his free hand and wiped a few of them away. She was still trembling.

“I-I don't know how to handle this.”Lucy admitted shakily.

Tim gently tugged at her right hand and tucked her into an embrace. 

******  
Lucy's right hand fisted and clung to Tim's shirt. The familiar uniform was comforting along with his presence. She didn't know what she'd do without him right now. Lucy felt so unstable. Like all the progress she'd made had evaporated. Footsteps behind and a throat clearing told Lucy they weren't alone. Steeling herself Lucy turned to face the same red haired doctor who's name tag read Dr. Young.

“I have your test results.”Dr. Young began.

Lucy turned so she was sitting straight on the exam bed. She felt Tim stiffen behind her and his hands remained on her shoulders. 

“And?”Lucy prompted anxiously.

“Negative. Your HCG level was four.”Dr. Young explained gently. “I had them run it twice to be sure.”

Lucy felt herself sag back against Tim as a thousand different emotions washed over her. She felt the tears blur her vision and she blinked them back with an effort.

“Thank you.”Lucy acknowledged gratefully.

“What about her nausea?”Tim questioned with concern.

“Stress.”Dr. Young replied. “I suspect Lucy that your sleeping and eating habits haven't been normal?”

Lucy nodded.

“I'm seeing a therapist which is helping just some things are taking awhile to feel normal.”Lucy responded quietly.

“Understandable after a trauma.”Young stated. “I'll send you home with some suggestions and a list of resources.”

“Thank you.”Lucy said once more as the woman left.

After a moment Lucy slid off the bed and stood.

“You alright?”Tim asked quietly.

Lucy nodded but the tears she'd held back earlier resurfaced and she was again in Tim's embrace. Lucy wasn't sure how long they stood there as Lucy cried herself out. When she composed herself once more Tim stepped away.

“Come on, boot. I'll take you home.”Tim offered.

Lucy quietly followed him out of the ER. Her petition to go back to work forgotten. She was completely exhausted physically and emotionally. Even if home was temporarily at her father's it sounded very good right now.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Once home Lucy spoke to her father for a few moments reluctantly filling him in on the days events. She knew Tim was in the foyer talking to Grey on the phone. Lucy felt scraped raw and all she wanted was to crawl into bed after a long shower. Patrick was grim as he hugged her and then went to his study. Relieved to be on her own Lucy headed to the stairs. She reached the foyer just as Tim was ending the call. 

“I got my shift covered for the rest of the day.”Tim announced as he put the phone away.

Lucy was touched but angry at the same time. She'd always been independent and to be seen now as weak was grating. On top of that once again she'd broken down in an intimate emotional way in front of Tim. Lucy didn't like feeling vulnerable in front of him. He was still her partner after all.

“You don't have to stay.”Lucy began quietly as she reached the stairs. “I'm alright on my own.”

“Grey's been after me to use some time.”Tim stated with a shrug. “Thought I'd grab us some lunch.”

“Tim....”Lucy began.

“Lunch, boot.”Tim continued. “Or is your stomach still queasy?”

Lucy blanched at the memory but shook her head. Resigned to having a baby sitter Lucy headed up a step.

“No, not queasy but a little weak.”Lucy responded softly. “Probably something light will be best.”

“Okay.”Tim said as he opened the front door. “I'll be back in half an hour.”

“Thank you.”Lucy replied with a smile.

Tim nodded and left. Lucy sighed and went upstairs. So much for a long shower.

*****  
Tim knew Lucy resented having a baby sitter, but she'd have to deal with it. She'd had a shock and he didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone. Not that he thought she was suicidal but it'd been a tough morning. A tough morning for both of them.

As he sat in the drive-thru lane Tim flexed his right hand. It was starting to bruise, but he didn't think he'd done serious damage to it. That was the second time in an ambulance with Lucy where he'd heard devastating news. He wasn't sure if either of them could take a third time. Tim really hoped that once his partner dealt with the events of today she'd be able t put the kidnapping behind her.  
******  
Showered and changed into clean clothes Lucy checked her phone and found a missed Facetime call from Jackson. She called him back and was greeted by his anxious worried face on the second ring.

“Are you alright? I heard you were taken by ambulance to the hospital.”Jackson asked worriedly.

“I'm fine now.”Lucy replied quietly. “I'm sorry I didn't call you; it was an intense hour.”

“What happened?”Jackson inquired.

Lucy filled him in watching the range of emotions play across her friend's face. 

“Intense is one word for it.”Jackson said finally when she was finished. “How are you, really?”

“Wiped out.”Lucy replied honestly. “Tim's babysitting me for the afternoon. He went to get lunch.”

“I'm glad he's there for you.”Jackson stated softly. “You already endured a rape and a kidnapping to have this scare on top of everything.....”

“I thought I was ready to come back to work.”Lucy said hating the tears and weakness in her voice. “That's why I was at the station. I was trying to convince Grey.”

“Lucy.”Jackson began gently. “I know you want things to be back to normal. God knows we want and need you back, but you have to give yourself time to heal. Lean on your friends; that's why we're here.”

A few tears escaped and Lucy sniffled as she wiped them away.

“Thank you.”Lucy acknowledged softly. “For everything.”

“Any time. I'm glad you're okay but I have to go.”Jackson said as he ended the call. “Dinner tomorrow?”

“Count on it.”Lucy replied as the screen went back to her home screen. 

A few minutes later Lucy received a text from Tim saying he was on his way. She dried her hair and brushed it, put a little make up on and went downstairs.  
******  
Since the weather was nice Tim and Lucy ate on the small patio in the backyard. Tim was happy to see Lucy finished off the large bowl of vegetable soup and a bagel. She still looked completely drained, but Tim knew the food would help. When the meal was finished Tim began picking up the take out containers.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”Tim suggested as he stood.

Lucy smiled at him.

“Yes, I'd like that.”Lucy responded.

“I'll put this in the trash why don't you pick the movie?”Tim suggested as he opened the patio door.

Lucy followed taking her drink with her and grabbing Tim's.

“You might regret letting me pick.”Lucy teased.

Tim would endure any chick flick if it kept the smile on his partner's face and lightened the mood.

“Probably.”Tim countered with a smile. 

Lucy laughed softly as she walked into the living room. Tim treasured the sound. There'd been too many tears lately. He quickly put things in the trash and followed Lucy into the living room. He settled onto the sofa and Lucy joined him after grabbing the remote. Within minutes an old Hitchcock movie began to play.

“Good choice.”Tim commented with a smile.

Lucy settled into the sofa. Tim hoped the movie would let them both escape from the day's events for a few hours.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: In pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Lucy didn't realize she'd fallen asleep until Tim shifting jostled her and she blinked her eyes open.

“Sorry.”Tim apologized. “Was trying not to wake you.”

“I should apologize.”Lucy replied as she sat up. “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“Probably your body's way of telling you that you needed some solid uninterrupted sleep.”Tim said as he shifted.

“After the events of today I don't think that's going to happen.”Lucy muttered as she settled back and sighed. “Nightmares come in all forms.”

“You are stronger than you think.”Tim commented gently.

“I know but today showed me differently.”Lucy responded softly.

Tim surprised her by drawing her close to his left side and wrapping his arms around her. 

“If you want.”Tim began his voice low. “I can stay tonight. Just need to go home and run an errand and then I'll come back.”

Lucy almost refused but his embrace was a toxin soothing her overstressed emotions.

“If you don't have any other plans.”Lucy replied quietly.

“No, boot.”Tim assured her. “I'm all yours.”

“Then I'd sleep better if you're here.”Lucy admitted.

“I'll be back after dinner.”Tim promised as he gently disentangled himself and stood.

“Okay.”Lucy acknowledged already missing his warmth.

Tim pulled a blue quilt off the back of the sofa and tucked it around Lucy. She smiled getting used to his gentle caring side.

“Take a nap.”Tim advised.

“Think I'll watch the part of the movie I missed.”Lucy suggested as she nestled back against the sofa.

“Alright.”Tim commented as he straightened. “I'll text when I'm close.”

“Thank you, Tim.”Lucy responded softly as she touched his right arm. “For everything.”

Tim nodded and after a brief squeeze of her hand he left.

*****  
Tim stopped back at the station to check in with Grey and stop at the locker room. He was fighting with the combination lock. He was sure he'd put in the right combination. Tim cleared it and tried once more and it refused to open. In anger Tim kicked the back of lockers.

“Hey!”Angela called gaining his attention. “Tim!”

Tim kicked it once more before sitting down on the wooden bench with a sigh. Angela sat down next to him a concerned look in her brown eyes.

“Want me to get the bolt cutters?”Angela suggested.

“No.”Tim said with a shake of his head. “Think I missed the last number.”

“Jackson told me part of it.”Angela said softly. “How's Chen?”

Tim stared at the bank of lockers and ran a hand through his short dark hair. 

“She's at her father's resting.”Tim explained as he met Angela's gaze. “Doc said the nausea and fainting were do to stress.”

“Understandable.”Angela agreed softly.

Tim glanced around then stood and looked around the rows of lockers to make sure no one was in earshot. Then he sat back down.

“When we got to the ER they ran a pregnancy test.”Tim said in a cracked voice. “Took awhile to get the results back. Lucy was a wreck. The realization that she might be carrying her kidnapper's child....Angela it nearly crushed her.”

“Oh God.”Lopez whispered in horror. “After everything she went through....”

“All I could do was comfort her.”Tim continued his voice stronger. “When I wanted to yank Wright out of hell and kill him again.”

“It's the worst thing a woman can go through.”Angela commented softly. “But she's a survivor. Chen will come out the other side of this.”

“Yeah, she will.”Tim agreed as he stood.

He tried the locker once more and it opened. Tim got what he needed and shut it. 

“Thanks for listening.”Tim said placing a hand on Angela's left shoulder as he passed.

“Anytime.”Angela replied.  
*********  
Lucy had dinner with her father. She tried to assure him that she was alright, but knew from the worry in his eyes that she hadn't succeeded. Lucy cleaned and cleared away their dishes. Her father hadn't objected to Tim being a house guest for the night. Another sign of how worried her father was. She knew her parents were grateful to Tim and the others for rescuing her. Still Lucy's choice of career was still a bit of tension with her parents. Ten minutes later Lucy received a text from her partner saying he was on his way. Lucy smiled and sent a reply.

Half an hour later they were once again sitting on the living room sofa. They watched another movie and then around ten headed upstairs. Tim's guest room was across from hers. They both went their separate ways to get ready for bed. Lucy was sitting on her bed when there was a knock she looked up to see Tim with his right hand on the doorframe.

“Still want me to stay in here for awhile?”Tim asked with a brief smile. “ Or I can go across the hall and you can yell if you need me.”

Lucy knew she should let him go to his own room. That she should be strong and try to face another night of nightmares and sleepless hours by herself. After the day they'd had she just felt drained. Lucy laid down and scooted over to make room for her partner. 

“Could you stay?”Lucy asked in a small voice. “Until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.”Tim replied as he stepped in and shut the door.

Lucy tried not to note how handsome Tim looked in a simple black t-shirt and matching boxers. Tried and failed to remind herself that he was her T.O. Tonight she was too tired and worn out emotionally to worry about her professional future. She had to heal if she was going to have any kind of a career. Tim slid into the bed next to her. Lucy reached over to the nightstand and turned off the light.

“Facing the darkness is the hardest part.”Lucy admitted into the quiet. “Some nights I fall asleep with the light on.”

“You're not alone in the dark.”Tim promised softly. “Not tonight.”

Lucy reached out and caught Tim's right hand in his and squeezed it briefly as a thank you. She started to break the contact but Tim grasped her hand. With that human contact Lucy settled back against the pillow and soon after was asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

A scream woke Tim. He blinked disorientated at the surrounding darkness as memories came back. A body thrashed next to him and Tim sat up. He quickly turned on the light to find Lucy locked in a nightmare. A bad one from the pained pinched expression on her face. She'd kicked the bed covers off and her body was drenched in sweat.

Another scream tore from his rookie and Tim got out of bed and to his feet. He walked around to her side and sat down. Tears were now streaming down Lucy's face and for the millionth time Tim silently cursed Caleb. Gently Tim grasped Lucy's forearms. He heard running footsteps from the other end of the hall and knew her father would soon be joining them. Tim hoped the older man would think Tim had come from across the hall and not the other side of his daughter's bed. But then Patrick Chen was anything but stupid. One crisis at a time; Tim thought.

“Boot.”Tim called softly.

Lucy struggled against him still trapped in whatever nightmare hell she was in. Tim scooted closer but didn't loosen his grip. 

“Lucy, you're safe.”Tim stated softly. “I'm right here; you're safe.”

The door opened and Lucy's father entered worry etched on his face. Tim glanced at him briefly but kept his attention on Lucy.  
Lucy screamed once more but not as loud. The tears seemed to be slowing. 

“Boot.”Tim said gently. “You're safe. Whatever you're seeing isn't real. It's over; it's all over.”

Finally Lucy's brown eyes opened. Tim could tell the dream still had a hold because she backed up and looked around not recognizing her surroundings. Tim gently reached for her.

“Boot, it's okay; you're safe. I'm here.”Tim soothed.

*****  
In her dream Lucy had been underground again. Her fingers had been bloody and raw from trying to escape. She looked down at her hands now and saw they were normal. Lucy saw Tim's hands gripping her forearms. Lucy still felt cold from the dream. Still felt it's shadow and the fear. Another hand reached out and touched Lucy's left shoulder. Lucy covered her father's hand with hers and nodded.

“I'm alright.”Lucy said in a hoarse tearful voice.

After a long moment Patrick nodded and walked quietly out of the room closing the door. Lucy buried herself in Tim's embrace as another sob wracked her.

“Ssh, boot.”Tim whispered. “I've got you.”

*******  
Tim felt Lucy's tears on his neck wishing he could take her pain away. She'd already suffered enough.

“I'm sorry;”Lucy whispered. “I-I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Don't worry about that.”Tim replied softly as he pulled back slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lucy started to shake her head then sighed as she wiped her tears away with the back of her left hand. She looked down at her hands and Tim knew she was seeing something else. Something from the nightmare.

“I was back underground.”Lucy explained quietly. “Trying everything to escape. My hands were raw and bloody from beating the barrel. I could feel the air disappearing.”

“You survived.”Tim stated as he cupped Lucy's face with his hands.

“Because of you.”Lucy replied quietly.

“No, boot.”Tim argued. “You hung on long enough for me to find you. That's the hero part.”  
*******  
Lucy felt the tears start again and Tim pulled her close once more. She'd been surprised that her father had left. That spoke volumes to the standing Tim had in her life. 

“I still feel so dumb that I didn't suspect Caleb.”Lucy said quietly. “Not until I was outside the bar and realized he'd put something in my drink.”

“He fooled a lot of people, Luce.”Tim replied as he rubbed soothing motions down her back. “Including me. I'll never forgive myself for not seeing him for who he was.”

“You thought there was something off.”Lucy argued. “You told me that it probably wasn't his dog in the social media video. I....”

“Don't beat yourself up.”Tim said gently. “You survived that's all that matters.”

Maybe to you; Lucy thought bitterly. How was she going to be a cop again if she'd been fooled that badly? 

“Try to get some rest, boot.”Tim suggested softly.

They sat in each other's arms and it was a long time before Lucy fell asleep. Her thoughts troubled.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: In Pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

Tim's internal alarm woke him at six. Lucy was curled next to him sound asleep her head on his chest. Her face was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. She had bruises that were still healing. Tim circled his arms around her once more and rested his head lightly on top of hers.  
They were both still dealing with a lot from the aftermath of the kidnapping. He still wished more than anything that he had a time machine and could go back. The beatings she endured were bad enough but to be violated on top of that and then buried and left for dead.....Tim shuddered and tightened his embrace. Lucy was stronger than anyone he had ever known. Some how Tim had to convince her of that.

Tim settled back against the pillow and watched his rookie sleep. Things had changed between them; he couldn't deny that any longer. They weren't simply T.O and rookie. They weren't only friends. The bond ran too deep. Tim didn't want to look too closely at that bond. He was still recovering from the failed marriage to Isabel and her addiction. Never mind the fact that Lucy was his boot. They couldn't cross that line now.

After she healed? After she graduated from training? A possibility to consider. He'd failed Lucy once. Tim knew if they were romantically involved and something bad happened that was his fault that was on his watch he wouldn't handle it well. She had become that important to him now magnify that by a hundred and Tim knew her death would crush him.

Mentally shaking away the dark thoughts Tim tried to center himself. He was getting too far ahead. Though Tim knew taking things one day at a time was easier said then done. He'd seen enough people in the military and the LAPD deal with PTSD and the after affects of trauma. Depending on what they had seen and or done it was a long road to recovery. Some finished out their careers; some did not.  
Tim knew even without his help Lucy would beat the odds; she already had. 

He'd talk to Grey about Lucy returning to work. Not full time. She wouldn't be happy with easing into things but it couldn't be helped. If she went back too soon it could set her back. The nerves she'd had after the first meeting with Grey were a sign of that. Tim knew his boot; she'd tried to prove herself no matter the cost. In the short run Lucy may hate him for protecting her from herself.  
*******  
Lucy awoke to an empty bed. She must've been dead tired not to hear Tim leave. There was a note on the nightstand stating he'd had to go into work. Feeling completely drained Lucy sank back against her pillow and looked at the window. The brief glance she'd had of the alarm clock had told Lucy it was after nine. 

Memories of the night before flooded back and Lucy winced. She'd been vulnerable again in front of Tim. The nightmare had shaken her; taken her right back to that dark void. Lucy had felt exposed in front of her partner. Again, her T.O hadn't judged her; hadn't criticized. Had only shown kindness and comfort.

Lucy tried to push the memories of the nightmare away. She could still feel the fear, the panic. Tears began blurring her vision and she blinked them away. Lucy forced herself into a sitting position. Taking a shaky breath Lucy gripped the edge of the mattress. She wasn't going to let the nightmares and memories win. She would take her life back. One step at a time. Standing Lucy gathered a change of clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Time to start another day.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: In pieces  
author: Cindy Ryan  
notes and summary: See part one

The next few weeks dragged for Lucy. She'd stepped up her therapy sessions. They were helping and she felt stronger with each day that went by. The department was hedging on when Lucy could return to work.Besides her own therapy appointments Lucy had also been seeing the LAPD psychologist assigned to her. She knew the reports were going to Grey; that he was getting updates. Lucy wasn't a hundred percent ready to go back to work but the only way to find out was to test her. To let her get back on patrol

Lucy had a feeling Tim was behind the delay. That he was going into overprotective mode. Lucy understood why he was trying to protect her. He'd pulled her from the ground. Seen her at her lowest since the rescue. She appreciated his concern and friendship. It meant more to her than Tim would probably ever know. Lucy's recovery was going to be a constant thing; nothing with an end date. It would be something she'd deal with for the rest of her life.

On that note Lucy lugged her suitcase out of the trunk of her car. It hit the ground with a thunk and she closed the lid of the trunk and looked at her apartment building. Her father had tried to argue but Lucy knew it was past time to come home. Another step to getting back to work was taking her life back. Taking a deep breath Lucy went into her building trying not to think of what had happened the last time she'd left her apartment.  
*******

The months went by and Lucy was reinstated to the LAPD. She was welcomed back with hugs and smiles. Her father had asked her if she had still wanted to be a police officer. Lucy knew the question wasn't coming from past arguments. It was coming from the present from the trauma he had endured with her. He'd seen her recovery. Known how Lucy had struggled at her weak moments. Lucy had told her father yes without hesitation. She still wanted the badge and all the danger and unknown that went with it. 

During her early days back she'd been paired with Nyla Harper as her training officer. Lucy had been surprised at first but with everything Harper had accomplished in her career Lucy had welcomed the opportunity. The chance to learn from a seasoned female officer. One who had spent years undercover. The time with Harper as with everything had it's ups and downs but Lucy thought she had gained the older woman's respect. 

Tim had taken the Sargent's exam and passed. He'd been on the eligibility list while Lucy recovered. After Lucy had been riding with Harper for a few months news came that Tim had a chance to have his own command. It was towards the end of shift when Grey had told them. 

'…..actually there's a position opening in North Hollywood.”Grey continued. “Captain there owes me a big favor. If you want it I can make it happen. You'd start in two weeks.”

Lucy's mind had went blank. It seemed too fast and too soon for this to be happening. Tim was her rock.

“Two weeks?”Lucy had repeated dumbfounded.

“Can I think about this over night?”Tim had asked sounding as shocked as she was.

“Of course but there's no guarantee you'll get a better opportunity if you pass this up.”Grey had cautioned.

Now they stood outside the bakery watching as the scheme Tim had came up with to foil Marquel was set in motion. They were both in street clothes. It'd been a long few days. Lucy more anxious than she wanted to admit about what Tim had decided about the promotion. Finally she turned the conversation in that direction not being able to stand it any longer.

“North Hollywood's lucky to have a Sgt like you coming in.”Lucy complimented.

“Actually I told Grey I'm not interested in moving up just yet.”Tim responded looking back at the bakery.

“What? Are you holding out for Malibu?”Lucy asked .

Tim met Lucy's gaze.

“Tim Bradford finishes what he starts.”Tim stated firmly.”I haven't finished training you yet.”

Relief washed over Lucy like a tidal wave. It was selfish she knew to want him around awhile longer but Lucy knew her long road to recovery wasn't finished. 

“No.”Lucy responded with a smile. “You haven't.”

After a beat of silence Lucy spoke.

“You are planning on moving up at some point, right?”Lucy asked with a grin. “I put a lot of time into those books on tape.”

Tim nodded returning her smile briefly as they turned and began walking. 

******  
Tim watched Lucy out of the corner of his eye as they walked. He saw her blink away tears. Saw her try to hide it by pulling her hair back and then letting it fall free. 

“Boot, you would've been fine if I'd taken that promotion.”Tim said coming to a halt. “Few weeks you'll be an official rookie. You've worked hard to make up on your training what you've missed.”

“I'm a long way from fine.”Lucy admitted softly as she met her gaze.

“Maybe but you're the strongest person I know.”Tim commented.

Lucy sniffed and Tim saw the tears pool in her brown eyes. A lump formed in his own throat. He reached out and placed a hand under Lucy's chin lifting it up so their gazes met.

“I'm proud of what you've accomplished, Lucy.”Tim said hoarsely. “On the job and off.”  
**********  
Not caring who saw Lucy launched herself at Tim pulling him into a hug. She buried her face against his left shoulder. His words echoed.

'I'm proud of what you've accomplished.'

“I still feel like I'm in pieces.”Lucy said quietly into the silence. “I'm glad you're still here if I need you to put those pieces together.”

Tim pulled back slightly and Lucy saw a mirage of emotions cross his face. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“I'll always be there when you need me.”Tim promised huskily. “No matter what.”

They'd been through so much since that first day they'd become rookie and T.O in the roll call room Lucy thought with a watery smile. There'd been days when Lucy had never wanted to see Tim or hear the word boot. She knew there were days she drove him crazy. Yet they'd challenged each other formed a real partnership and a friendship Lucy knew would last for the rest of their lives.

“That goes both ways.”Lucy said echoing Tim's promise.

Tim nodded tightly. Then a few minutes later Lucy broke the embrace and stepped away. They walked back to the station's parking lot. Tim escorted her to her car. As she got in Tim rested his hand on the driver's door.

“See you tomorrow, boot.”Tim stated with a smile.

“Soon you won't be able to call me that.”Lucy retorted with a grin.

Tim smirked and turned walking to his truck. Lucy closed the door and started the car. She felt better than she had in days. What happened to her would always be a part of her. Lucy knew that it would make her stronger and she'd be able to handle whatever the future threw at her. Putting the car in drive Lucy headed for home.

end


End file.
